the other night, while i was getting the boys ready for their bath, my oldest son proudly made an announcement.
“i’m not taking baths anymore,” he said. “baths are for babies. i’m only taking showers now.”
“what!!!!!! no more baths? why? i mean, okay, sure! whatever you want! take a shower bud.”
i started the shower for him, died a little inside, and kingston bathed alone–for the first time.
i know it’s just a shower. and what’s the big deal? and calm yourself down erica! but it’s also so much more than that too, you know?
i remember his very first bath after his umbilical cord fell out–how nervous i was. i remember the way his head smelled as a freshly cleaned baby. i remember how i stroked his forehead to sleep, after the comfort of a warm bath. all the bubbles and laughs and crazy shampoo hair. all the comfort and routine and life.
I can’t stop all of the things that keep changing, and the shifts that keep happening, and i would never dream of it. i used to measure time by my next vacation, my next girls night out, my next date night. but now, time is measured by a little boy and his milestones.
but this is what motherhood does. it makes you a crazy person who mourns the passage of time. i cried the day we left the hospital after his birth because i knew that my body would never again be home to him. that i would never again feel his kicks from the inside. i cried the day he crawled, the day he walked, the day he lost his first tooth, and the day he stopped taking baths.
and here he is in the shower…
this is just another example of how my little boy flourishes into each new stage of his life with ease and trust. the mourning i feel from time passing is lost in the joy i feel from watching with him blossom.