two boys and a girl | month one

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as a little girl i loved to play house with my sisters. when it was my turn to be the mother i would pretend to have two boys and a girl–in that order. i always imagined the two boys taking care of and protecting their little sister. it’s funny how children can be so intuitive about their lives. it was as if i knew this would be life, only i didn’t. because for years i had lost my way. i was confused about who i was and what i wanted. life filled me with just about every emotion and feeling one can imagine. rinse and repeat. i didn’t understand why my path seemed so difficult. so sad. and at times, so lonely. but i wasn’t supposed to understand then. i was meant to understand now. and i do. everything i learned on my crocked and bumpy path i learned for them. my children. two boys and a girl–in that order. life showed me so that i could show them.

i walk in joy and gratitude for the challenge to consider my purpose. i walk in joy and gratitude for the good, the bad, and the ugly. and through it all, somewhere deep down, even when cried until i couldn’t open my eyes, i knew they were always with me. there in that secret place we all came from, willing me to keep going. they are what i was always meant to do. the reason for all i’ve learnt. being their mother is a precious gift and a privilege.

tgs

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