happy new year! i finally finished our “life 2013” film. i was going to post this yesterday but i had a few minor technological setbacks. what a great year it’s been. i thank everyone for the kind words and encouragement this past year. mostly, i thank my children for allowing me to stick this camera of mine in their faces almost everyday.
i made this little film for john for father’s day this year. i wasn’t going to post it because i thought it was terrible. also, i am in this movie a lot more than usual which makes me uncomfortable. i like being the one behind the camera documenting our lives. but, john wanted this film up on the blog to show his friends. since we eloped, most of our friends and family have never watched clips from our wedding.
well, enough talking. here it is. let me know what you think…
my sister, aimee, just came home from a two-week vacation. the kids missed her terribly. as soon as she walked in the door they started with their stories. they showed her their journals. they told her about books they’ve read, and places they’ve been. she gives them her time, her attention, her love. i’m the luckiest to have sisters who love my children as much as i do. here is a cherished little moment i captured from her visit.
“look at the stars,
look how they shine for you,
and everything you do,
yeah, they were all yellow.”
here i am at the end of another film that chronicles the past year of my life. moments of 2012 documented through the good and bad and blossoming of new life.
the first year i completed this project in 2011 i had no idea what an amazing gift i was giving myself. this project has become more than documenting my life–it changes the decisions i make about how i spend my time. it has given me reason to stop and really see where i am. really see my children and my husband. it has inspired me to treasure everyday, even my worst days, because there are always beautiful moments hidden in the depths.
and while this film is about everyday moments that seem like nothing, they are also everything.
something from my journal 4/20/12
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear JT, happy birthday to you…
i woke this morning and was immediately struck by these two feelings. if the first five years of life are the most important years, have i planted the seeds of love, security, and trust deep enough for him to flourish? but not too deep and compact that he is unable to fight through the depth of life lessons that are sure to come his way? And then more narrowly, I can see that after thousands of blissful hours watching him delight in his ever growing world, his babyhood is over. and that makes me ache.
he woke this morning with his innocent, starry eyes lit with excitement. today he six. pride flowed heavily through his blood. he showed me his loose tooth. his second one so far. he got himself dressed and tied his own shoes. he played with his little brother and then fought with his little brother. we all got in the car and spent a magical day at disneyland. we got back to our hotel room late, ate dinner, had baths, and talked about our favorite part of the day. they just fell asleep in crisp hotel bedding watching monsters inc. and listening to fireworks outside of our window.
time will keep on ticking, life will continue to move forward, and i will do my best to appreciate what is and learn to master the art of letting go. i will beam with pride as i watch him grow and individuate. i will encourage and praise him and let him know how great it is to grow up.
i know there will be more birthday’s. i know there will be more loose teeth. and i know there will be more trips to disneyland. but i also know that i will fall asleep tonight with warm tears burning my eyes. today he is six.
here is a movie i made of JT’s first five years. you will notice the early footage is pretty bad. i knew next to nothing about filming and photography and was borrowing cameras i had no idea how to use (thanks mom). regardless, i wanted to share it because it is special to me.
happy birthday my sun.
it seems fitting that my very first post is a recap of last year.
being able to see last year fly by in a couple of minutes and seeing all those little moments I had forgotten about – i feel humbled. perhaps this is because, until now, I have only been focusing on the fact that 2011 was a particularly difficult year for us. we were robbed in the wee hours of the morning, we were betrayed by people we trusted, and we lost friendships that we thought would last forever.
but, as I began adding clips and frames, i was reminded of a few things I know in my heart to be true:
things like; the most beautiful and magical moments I have had so far have been the small and quiet ones. the beauty in life is everywhere around and all i have to do is stop and notice.
things like; even if it seems bad at the time, life unfolds exactly how it’s supposed to and it is always ultimately good. although It may not seem good at the time, we have to open up and trust the process.
i realize that as challenging as 2011 proved to be – i wouldn’t change it for the world. challenging experiences are always going to come and go, i know this. my children being young and innocent will fly by too fast, i know this too.
i hope when you watch, you will be reminded of how fleeting your own experiences are, and you will recognize the magic hidden in the everyday moments of your life.