a portrait of my children together, every month for a year
as you can see from Kingston’s face, he is sick of the monthly shot. just two months to go guys–we can do it. i think?
“We all have souls of different ages”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
jt, you are many, many things all rolled into one. you are funny, witty, smart, independent, and a perfectionist. you are moody, pouty, loving, adventurous, and compassionate. you love to fish, dress up, play sports, and play your Wii. you have a tremendous imagination that can tell a thousand stories. you are an inquisitive little soul with so much behind those blue eyes. you are very head strong, and at the rip old age of seven, you think you know more than your parents. you are perfect in every way and we wouldn’t change a thing about you.
tomorrow this little guy goes to school for the first time. he’s been here with me, in our home, for five years. growing, learning, laughing. i am so happy for him because i know he will love it; but i am also very emotional because time seems greedy when you become a mama…
this picture was taken yesterday in our front yard after boheme was baptized. the crown of flowers was made for her by my mother.
happy birthday, america. happy fourth to all of you. and happy eight months together my babies.
this duo. there are six and a half years between them, but the love they have for each other is timeless. in the beginning, i worried that they would have difficulty bonding because of their age gap. but, right now i can only see a strong, comforting, and loving bond between them. the same bond i share with my own brothers and sisters. jt is an amazing older brother and role model. he is, by far, her favorite playmate.
i often wonder how their relationship will evolve and transform as they grow, boheme into a little girl and jt into a teenager. i can only hope that, with patience and tolerance, they will remain as close as they are today.
happy seven months together my beloved trifecta. every month that passes we find more reasons to love you…
jt: you’re all about playing golf on the wii this month. we laugh because you are so competitive. i’m pretty sure you get that from me. actually, you remind me so much of myself in so many ways. the other night you came into our room after having a bad dream. i laid you down next me and we quietly talked about it. you told me that you dreamt about boheme drowning in the swimming pool. you were hysterically crying. don’t worry buddy. it just means that you love her so much that you can’t picture life without her. thank you for loving her as much as you do. you’re such a special little guy.
kingston: your sense of humor is amazing. you make me belly laugh daily. your favorite thing to do this month is carry on conversations with me as if we are strangers. the other day while you were swimming I asked you if daddy heated up the swimming pool. you said, “who’s that, you’re husband?” knowing you started the game without telling me, i answered, “what do you mean kingston?” you replied, “oh oh oh oh oh I’m not Kingston, I’m i’m i’m jim the swimming coach, but but but but you can call me coach. I’m just waiting for my student donnie to show up. then I’ll walk right into your house and meet your husband. okay?”
boheme: you are always smiling. and happy. and lovely. you are pure magic. pure light. i still catch you looking up at the ceiling communicating with your angels. you love tubs with me and kingston. you love rolling around on the floor to get to where you want to be. you love sitting up but you’re still a little wobbly. you love your brothers. your face lights up when they play with you. i tell you a hundred times a day how loved you are but it still doesn’t seem like enough.
june 3, 1946 to may 3, 1996
your passing has made me both stronger and weaker. when you first left, i had to learn new ways of existing in this world. it was clear to me that i would always miss you. that you would never walk me down the isle. that you would never meet my children. in the early days, i picked up the phone to call you a couple of times–only to realize you wouldn’t answer. now, i know other methods of communication.
as you watch down on us today, I want to tell you that your grandchildren know you. they know you’re happy. they know you were sick. they know you got your wings. they know your favorite song and all about your “gym bag”. they know about the cracker game we used to play, and that you used to say “ruff” instead of “roof”. they know that your left arm used to twitch and that you had a burn on your other arm. they know you were a lawyer and then a cab driver. they think it’s cooler that you drove a cab.
today we mourn your death, but every day we celebrate your life. did you see the spaceship to heaven that jt drew at school? he said when he is older he is going to build it so he can come see you anytime he wants. i tell your grandchildren all of your jokes. i give them all your advice. i show them all your love. you are alive in this home…